Attention can feel exciting, but it is not the same thing as compatibility. Someone can be interested in you and still be wrong for the kind of life and relationship you want.

Look beyond chemistry

Pay attention to consistency, values, communication, treatment of other people, emotional availability, boundaries and the way problems are handled. Chemistry can start a relationship; compatibility helps determine whether it can function.

Use standards before emotion gets loud

One useful workbook exercise is to write down your requirements, preferences and deal-breakers before you become attached to a particular person. That gives you something more objective to compare against later.